Verbal Abuse
Find Out if You are a Victim of Verbal Abuse
Verbal Abuse Test was developed by Abe Kass and is designed to help individuals determine if they are in a verbally abusive relationship.
Actions Victims of Verbal Abuse Should Take
If the Verbal Abuse Test determines that you are experiencing verbal abuse, you need to take action to stop being abused. However, you must start the process to stop the abuse. To start the process you must take the position that you will no longer accept being verbally abused and set clear boundaries. Your relationship is conditional. You must insist that your partner speaks to you respectfully. If you are in a verbally abusive relationship, you need to reclaim your human right to be treated with dignity, respect, and equality.
- Recognize Verbal Abuse is Abuse
Understand that insults, threats, manipulation, constant criticism, gaslighting, and humiliation are forms of abuse, no matter how often they happen or how “small” they seem.
- Set Clear Boundaries
Calmly state what behavior is unacceptable and what will happen if it continues. For example: “I will not stay in conversations where I’m being insulted.”
- Stop Engaging in Arguments Meant to Control You
Abusers often use words to provoke guilt or fear. Disengaging from these cycles reduces their power.
- Build Self-Worth and Confidence
Remind yourself that you deserve respect. Therapy, journaling, affirmations, and supportive friendships can help rebuild confidence damaged by abuse.
- Document the Behavior
Keep records of abusive messages, emails, or incidents. This can help you see patterns clearly and protect yourself if you need outside help.
- Seek Support
Talk to a trusted counselor or a therapist. You don’t have to handle abuse alone.
You can also reach confidential support through the National Domestic Violence Hotline, which offers 24/7 help via phone, chat, and text.
- Create an Exit or Safety Plan
If the abuse continues, consider how you would leave safely, financially, emotionally, and physically. Planning ahead gives you options.
- Enforce Consequences
Boundaries only work when they’re upheld. If abuse continues, follow through by limiting contact, leaving the situation, or seeking professional/legal help.
- Consider Professional Counseling
A therapist can help you process trauma, rebuild boundaries, and make empowered decisions about your future.
National Domestic Violence Hotline & Other Abuse Resources
USA
Canada
- Department of Justice
- Public Health Agency of Canada
