Emily’s Story of Emotional Abuse

Emily and Bob married later in life. Bob had been married before and had one daughter from this marriage.

Aware that her biological clock was ticking, Emily knew she would have to find a partner soon if she were to have a child. A friend introduced her to Bob.

They courted each other long enough to feel compatible with each other and then they decided to marry.

One year after the wedding, a lovely baby boy was born.

Emily knew that Bob was not an easy person to get along with. He was at times opinionated, demanding, and arrogant. What she didn’t realize was that over time his bad behavior would become worse.

As a verbally abusive husband, Bob would relentlessly criticize Emily. He used words to erode her self-esteem so she would become compliant. And when Emily broke down and cried from his never-ending complaints… Bob ignored her emotional pain.

Bob dismissed Emily’s unhappiness as further proof of her imperfection as a wife and a mother.

Over time, Emily lost all her feelings for Bob. She didn’t want him to touch her.

As a high school project, Emily had studied emotionally abusive relationships and had promised herself that she would never marry an emotionally abusive husband. Despite her promise to herself, it became clear to Emily that her relationship with Bob was like the emotionally abusive relationships she had learned about. She felt hopeless, lost, and disappointed in herself.

Bob was not at all understanding regarding how Emily felt and only demanded that she be ‘a better wife and mother.’

Emily threatened Bob with separation.

Once when she tried to leave with their son, Bob blocked the door and wouldn’t let her go.

Upon the advice of her friend’s husband who was a lawyer, Emily called the police.

The police made it clear to Bob that he had no right to restrict his wife’s movements.

Emily was determined not to accept an emotionally abusive marriage.

Emily told Bob that he was an emotionally abusive husband and that if he didn’t change his abusive and controlling ways she would leave him.

Recalling that the police had said that Emily could leave, he was fearful of being left alone. Not wanting to end up with a second failed marriage, Bob agreed to attend marriage therapy.

Even though the marriage therapist was caring and skilled, he could not help this stressed couple for one simple reason – Bob was not prepared to take advice from anyone—not even a relationship specialist!

Bob argued with the therapist and insisted he was not a verbally abusive husband. Rather, he just wanted the best for his family and Emily just needed to smarten up and accept his advice.

Emily was determined not to live in an emotionally abusive marriage, so she left Bob three months after marriage therapy ended.