Bob’s Story of Emotional Abuse
The scene that has happened so many times before and was unfolding in front of me again. I tried to joke with Cecilia the way I do with everyone else, but she took it as an attack and responded by shutting me down.
I’ve always been easygoing and good-humored, qualities that she used to love about me, but now… it seems that the only way to speak to her properly is to compliment her.
I’m walking on eggshells, finding that I have to really think hard about what I say around her. Some days I am so afraid, I say nothing. Slipping up could mean ending up being chastised, verbally abused, or given the complete cold shoulder for days, all of which make me feel like, in her eyes, I’m some kind of monster.
Sometimes I wonder if I am a horrible person and maybe I deserve it. I think to myself, “I must have done something to make Celia so angry, so abusive to me.” That I must have done something to turn her into an abuser! Whatever I do for Cecilia is ever good enough! I am always feel bad when I am around her. At other times I am more rational. I realize being abusive is something Cecelia chooses to be. No matter what I do, I don’t deserve to be abused!
As far as I knew, Cecilia had received more than enough attention from her parents when she was growing up, and even after their divorce, they tried to keep their relationship civilized for the sake of their kids. I wonder, what was she exposed to that made her feel justified in her abusive behavior? What made her this way?
The beginning of our relationship was like magic, we were compatible in all of the most important ways. The time we spent together never seemed like enough. I found myself longing to be with her when we were apart.
After awhile, she started to act manipulative towards me, making me feel bad for spending my time or money on anything but her.
I had such a hard time trying to understand how the woman I fell in love with became the person I was now stuck with. Every day, I ask myself the question, “Will her abusive behavior ever stop?”
Emotional Abusers Can Stop
No one likes the idea of being labeled an emotional abuser, regardless of the type of abuse that is happening.
Some people have a reaction of horror when they realize that they’ve been causing so much pain to the person they care about the most.
They really don’t realize they are an emotional abuser because they blame their partner for their anger and efforts to control the relationship.
Professional counseling with a caring therapist can be found for those in emotionally abusive relationships, whether they’re on the giving or receiving end of the abuse.
Equally important and essential for those people who cannot find or afford counseling, is self-education. There are many good courses, books, and lay individuals that can help somebody replace anger, controlling behavior, and meanness with kindness, reasonableness, and respect.
In my counseling practice, I have helped countless men and women overcome emotional abuse and become loving and caring partners with those people they have chosen to live and often have children with.
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Act Now to Stop Emotional Abuse
No one should agree to live in an abusive relationship. If you are in an abusive relationship, you need to reclaim your human right to be treated with dignity, respect, and equality. Get more help from qualified professionals:
